Monday, August 5, 2013

A New Direction....

Well, it's been three years (give or take a few months) since my last post.  Life has sort of gotten in the way and crafts/couponing has taken a back seat.  I wish I could say that something amazing had happened such as I inherited a tropical island and now spend my days on the beach... but alas, that is not true.  Some of the more believable highlights are 1.  I went to Hawaii 2.  I graduated with a Master's Degree in Business Administration and 3.  I bought a new bike.   I also began running, lost 50 pounds and started running 5k's for fun... which leads to the reason I'm starting up the blog again.

Somewhere between March 2013 and today, I've become lazy.  Extremely lazy.  Like get home, sit on my butt and watch TV all evening lazy.  It all started after I ran my first (and last) 10k.

On race day, the weather was less than perfect.  One might describe it as terrible.  It was a cold, drizzly day with no chance of sun.  I wasn't as prepared as I had planned on being since I had recently been traveling and did not have the chance to train like I had wanted.  The time came and the cowbell signaled the start of the race.The slow drizzle seemed like it imitated my mood-anxious and pessimistic. Mile 1 wasn't too bad.  Everyone that had been brave (or crazy) enough to run in the rain seemed to be keeping the same pace.  Mile 2 came... and the hills began.  Mile 3 wasn't too bad.  It was a nice scenic tour of campus that lead back to town.  Unfortunately, Mile 3 is also where I hit the wall.  The turn off for the last half of the race was in sight and I just felt like I couldn't make it.  I pushed through it to mile 4.  Ugh... Mile 4... This is where I discovered every hill in my hometown.  I seriously think that they planned to include every stinking hill in the city.  I couldn't take it and had to actually walk up some hills and forced myself to run down the other side.  Mile 5 was really, really tough.  The good thing was that the hills leveled out.  The bad thing was that I still had a mile to go.  It was tough.  I couldn't breathe and was regretting having not run as much as I should.  This is also when the rain really picked up.  It was a hard, spring rain that soaked everything in sight.  Adele was playing on my iPod.  It seemed like the perfect artist for the mood.  Mile 5 was the longest mile ever.  I must have had a look of desperation on my face because I even had one person driving past me on the road stop and ask if I needed a ride.  I looked at her in confusion, wondering if she couldn't see my bib number and the seconds ticking down on the marquee less than .25 miles away from me.  I thanked her for her offer and then continued running.  Looking back, part of me wonders if it would have been worth the joke to get her to drive me to the finish line, get out of the car, and then run across the finish line.  I'm sure there would have been some glares... but it would also make for a cool story.  I finished (on my own two feet) in 1:07.  Certainly room for improvement but not too bad for someone who hadn't really trained for a 10k.

After the race, I was proud of my accomplishments and ready to tackle the next race, after a break.  Well, the break is still going on.  For some reason, after this race, I lost my love for running.  It was more like work instead of fun.  I got out of the habit.  After 2 weeks off, I began to fear running, knowing that I couldn't keep up the same pace that I had worked so hard to establish.  Two weeks became a month... which became 3 months... which leads me to today.

I'm basically back at square one, except this time, I have the knowledge that I can actually do this since I was able to a few months ago.  It's just the fear of actually doing it that keeps me from doing it.  Well, that and the fact that I feel like a giant marshmallow while running.  Did I mention the fact that sitting on my butt lead to me gaining back some of the weight that I had lost?   I kept telling myself that I could loose the weight whenever I wanted.  I would start back on my diet tomorrow.  Tomorrow never came.

So today, after feeling sorry for myself, I decided to reevaluate what I did in the past to lose the weight and what I did to start enjoying being one of "those" people who actually enjoys exercising.  I started thinking about the main factors that had kept me focused the last time around.  It was accountability.  Previously, I had started using LoseIt.   I knew that I had to log every calorie and if I went over, I would tell my hubby.  This accountability lead me to stay on track.  I didn't want to say "I went over".  After I had lost a few pounds (and people started to notice), I felt like I had to continue because others were watching.  After a while though, I hit a wall and became tired of dieting.  Lets face it.  Ice cream is delicious.  It is also my kryptonite.

So... after blabbing on and on about the reasons why I don't run and why I have not reached my goal of being fit by the time I'm 30 (and there's still time), I have decided to make a proclamation to the blogosphere.  Since accountability is the largest thing that helped me the last time around, I will use this page to keep track of what I have done and document my progress.

Hopefully, with this motivation to blog my progress, knowing that someone will be reading it, I will be able to succeed in reaching my goal of running a half-marathon in January 2014.

1 comment:

  1. NICOLE!!!!! Who knew I would find this gem in my blog feed. I'm almost crying! 1. You're an excellent writer. I feel like I'm there with you. 2. TODAY IS A NEW DAY. Get up and work on your goals. You can do this!!!! 3. I'm so proud of you. Keep up this new attitude!!!